跟外國人(鬼妹)算命

一向沒有遇過什麼外籍人士的客人，但做了團購之後, 曾遇過台灣及菲律賓的顧客。我的國語能應付基本所需，如吃飯點菜，說髒話罵人之類更是異常流利。英語嘛，幸好學過下 A 到 Z, 而且對 F 字頭的助語詞天份獨厚，會話水平勉強可接受啦。

某日下午回到太子辦公室，見到一名廿幾歲之鬼妹在我樓下徘徊，目光異常迷惘。仔細看清楚，原來手持一張團購coupon. 呢鋪真係見鬼, 立即上前問她幾句，原來真係買左coupon, 於是請她上來漫談流年。

安頓片刻，請其提供出生年月日時, 她說是來自芝加哥，現於香港打工。Anyway. 先為她占卜一下，然後再看命盤。心中運算片刻，已有計較…於是說

我 : “er…..your hk apartment….there is construction outside right now ? and ….there is a picture at your sitting room ? ”

(你家門對出有動土，而且廳裡放了一幅相 ?)

鬼 : “Yes. There are such things”

我: “Er….your chosen one….he …er….doesn't have close relationship with his parents…probably father side… and your home in chicago, there is a ,…court…like basketball court or tennis court…but it doesn't look good…”

(原譯: 閣下之真命天子，命中註定與父無緣, 而閣下之家宅, 對出必有破爛之球場)

鬼 : “Yes, there is a basketball court outside my front door, and my ex bf ‘s parents are divorced.”

我知破爛係叫 broken, 但係 borken court好似吾make sense. ….我頂, 與父無緣英文點譯先 ? lost contact with father ? 佢成日無帶電話算吾算 ? 緣份係一個充滿意境既字眼，可以係有等如無，又可以係少見多別….中間夾帶有一股難以筆墨形容既無奈….英文應該點講呢 ? 由半帶古雅色彩的中文，即時換做英文，對於我呢 d平時滿口 “F_ _ _ ing A_ _h_ _ _! ” 既文人黎講，呢劑真係舞佢吾掂….即時傳譯既人工有返甘上下，原來真係有其價值。後面幾句仲攞命..

我: “Your bf, his job is no good….eh….kind of bad temper…..not easy going ….is a tough guy..”

(原譯: 你男友工作運欠佳，脾氣火爆，自坐羊刃，脾性多是剛烈之輩。)

鬼: “Yes, I used to have a stable bf, with such personality”

我: “(好奇) Really? So what made you so deep in luv with him ? Was he attractive at all ? Or just because he got a flashy car or shit like that ? ”

(嗱嗱嗱, 一開始Chit Chat, ；立刻行雲如流水, 鬼妹仔見我一身唐裝, 無啦啦爆句 Shit like that.. 都忍吾住笑左一下…點知佢跟住仲爆…)

鬼: “Do you really want know ? ”
(神色開始有點異樣)

我: “Yea. …”

鬼: “Cos he was really good, sexually”

我: “Oh…ok ok ….ok ok.. ”
(頂, 吾怪得知問我do u really want to knw….)

不知西方人是否天性較樂觀 ? 這位客人聽到我預測她之後的問題，也沒有什麼擔心，而且也沒有滿腹怨氣，只簡單評語了一句 :“Well, it seems quite accurate. Thanks ~” , 便微笑告辭。

趕住出門口…講住甘多先.